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Osayi Lasisi

Breakups: He wants us to be friends

Posted on November 29, 2012November 20, 2012

Ahh friendship. How many times have I heard someone say “He wants us to be friends.” One of the easiest lines to use when breaking up with someone is to say that you want to just be friends. I’ve used it personally quite a few times, and there have been a handful of times when I’ve actually meant it.

if he's not the one α is for äpΩL † via Compfight

I’ve also heard it a few times, and pain never gets old. So baby girl I must ask you. Be completely honest with yourself. Can you be his friend? Can you hang out with him without wanting to touch his face and hold his hands? Can you be around him as he talks about another girl like she is the second coming of Jesus, or he holds her hand, or he lights up whenever she smiles?

Answer those questions honestly. TV today makes us feel like we are not normal because we feel the way we feel. TV tells us that many people breakup and live together peacefully, and remain best of friends. TV tells us that you should be able to easily get over someone you kissed, or someone you shared life secrets with. And I’m sure there are people like that, but I haven’t met any of them. So if you’re like me, and you’re not comfortable being friends with your ex, don’t be ashamed, don’t be embarassed, explain it logically to him and then let the Joseph spirit move you and fleeeeeeee!

You can even go as far as blocking his number or changing your own number. Nothing is too dramatic. The important thing is that you’re protecting your heart from further hurt. He may not understand it, but you have no obligation to make him understand.

Now I say all this assuming he was a nice guy, but things just didn’t work out. Now if he was an awful, mean, abusive guy, then baby girl why are you even considering it? Just smile, nod and walk away slowly.

You’re too fabulous to be wasting time.

I want to hear how you’re doing 🙂

Need some help dealing with the loneliness? click here

*THIS IS A SERIES ON BREAKUPS, YOU CAN READ THE OTHER POSTS ON BREAKUPS HERE.
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