There are times in relationships when you do things that you’re not so proud of doing. It could be something little or something big, but you know that your significant other would be hurt if they were to find out.
It gets even worse when your significant other is nothing but nice, generous and loving to you. It makes you feel guilty and ashamed that you have done something like this to hurt them, but yet, all they’ve been is kind to you.
When you find yourself in a situation like this, the best thing you can do is to let your significant other know what happened. It may be something small, it may be something great, but you have to let them know. If this thing is eating away at you and making you feel ashamed and guilty any time they are around, and if it stops you from being able to love them like you would like to, then the best thing is to tell them. There are some things that you don’t have to tell your significant other… but perhaps this is not one of them…
Now, you also have to think about why you’re choosing to tell your significant other about this thing, is it just so that you can feel relieved or is it to rebuild the relationship. If it is merely to feel relieved, then that is selfish, and perhaps you need to find out why you chose to do what you did, and how you can keep yourself from doing that again, but if you really and truly believe that this thing is important to the relationship, then it’s best for you to tell it. Expose your shame, and you may find out that your significant other is really as fantastic as you thought, because he does his best to release you from the shame, or you may find out that perhaps this relationship was doomed from the very beginning…
Whatever you decide to do, just don’t let shame make your decision. If you’re ashamed of something you have done in the relationship, deal with it. The relationship can still work. It won’t be easy, but a good relationship is worth it.
Help us to trust you with our hearts and relationships, and help us to never let shame make our decisions for us. Amen.
I would like to hear from you: Talk to me.