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Osayi Lasisi

Fighting Shame

Posted on March 22, 2012March 21, 2012

Self-portrait without looking
Creative Commons License Photo Credit: Roberto Giannotti via Compfight

Ahh Shame…just the word makes me think of all the things I could be ashamed about.

As a single woman, there are so many things that threaten to drown you, so many regrets, so many things you wish you could have done, or wish you would have never done.

There are the guys you dated, you shouldn’t have, and the only thing that helps you go to sleep at night is that you’re so grateful you never married them.

There are the guys you took back multiple times even though they showed you they would never change, but you chose instead to believe their lies.

There are the places you’ve been or the things you’d done that makes your heart beat faster just remembering, and causes your blood to rise just thinking about how stupid you were.

There are the things you did, things you read, things you watched, things you said, that you know even your most liberal friends would not dare to do.

There are the lies you said, the ways you hurt others, the way you used and manipulated others…

If you could find a magic wand to make it all disappear, to make you forget it all, you would…but as it is, there is no magic wand, you’ll probably never forget, and the memories will pop up at the most inopportune moment…

So what can you do? How can you fight this shame that threatens to overwhelm you with regrets?

You have to forgive yourself. You must remember that we’ve all made mistakes, we’ve all done things that when we look back all we can do is shake our heads.

You must realize that with the information you had at the time, you made what seemed like the best decision. Yes you may not have thought through the consequences of your action, and yes what seemed like the best decision may have actually been the worst decision… but at the time you didn’t know that…

So be gentle with yourself, and remember that Jesus looks at every thing you’ve ever done, including every mistake and he still calls you his very own special baby girl…

Thank God there is no condemnation (Romans 8:1)

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