Have you ever wanted something so badly, and prayed for it?
Were you so sure that since you wanted it so badly, and you believed so strongly, and you prayed so fervently… that you would have it?
And then you didn’t?
Could it be that you didn’t pray the right way, or that you need more faith?
I used to wonder about situations like these and would think, maybe I just need more faith.
In the Book: Faith: The Word Made Flesh by Rita Wilson I began to see that perhaps my main issue was starting with what I really wanted and desired.
I mean, if I really believe that God is good, and that he always wants something good for me, and that he understands life more thoroughly than I could, then perhaps I needed to see things more from his perspective.
And as I read this book on Faith, I started to understand that I needed to spend more time really understanding God’s purpose, God’s will, and God’s way of doing things.
Now faith is important, but once I accepted Christ as my Lord, I already had all the faith I needed, but my challenge was that I wasn’t really letting him be my lord, so I wasn’t really listening to what he had to say about certain circumstances.
When I look back at different times that I listened and trusted him, like:
- When he told me I wouldn’t meet my husband like that, or
- When he told me to trust him with my money, or
- When he helped me transition out of a career that I didn’t like, and into the career I actually enjoyed.
I realize that perhaps just perhaps I do need to trust him, and let him do what he knows how to do best – guide me. Instead of trying to muster enough faith to get my own will done.
So I’m learning more about faith, but perhaps the understanding that faith is not just a feeling – but it is “absolute trust, and confidence in God’s power, wisdom and goodness.” And the step by step way that the book took me through the journey of realizing that I don’t need more faith completely reframed my relationship with God.